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My Fight Song - Hakuna Matata





Many of you started to get a hint that something is going on. Although I do share some personal stuff in this blog, I don't share every detail. A glimpse of my every day life is usually shown through my Instagram. Based on some of my posts, some of you have noticed I am going through something and some may already know what is going on. For those who have reached out, thank you so much for your support and wishing me well! They really mean a lot and the positive vibes give me strength each day.





Let's just say the start of the year took an unexpected turn. This year, Tre and I had plans to celebrate our newlywed year by traveling and exploring and I was very glad that my passion for traveling would happen. We had booked a couple trips already! Unfortunately, we had to cancel them. This has been one of my hardest posts that I will ever write. I am unsure how long this will be, but I want to be as honest as possible.

When I saw this clip from The Ellen Show, I was pouring tears. The song 'Fight Song' by Rachel Platten had a whole different meaning than what I originally thought it was about. Now, I totally relate and this song holds so much more motivation to my life. If you just watched the clip, you may know where I am going with this.

About a month and a half ago, my biopsy confirmed that I have 3 tumors containing cancer cells, and I was diagnosed with Stage 2A breast cancer. Without a doubt, hearing from my doctor that I have cancer was an absolute shock and I could not contain my tears.  I never ever expected to have cancer. Especially, at this point in my life. Breast cancer is not known to be in my family and I was totally caught off guard.

Ever since I was diagnosed, my days have consisted of several tests and doctor appointments. It was exhausting. However, on the way to the hospital the first song on the radio would always be (I seriously mean always) Rachel Platten's Fight Song. I can't help but think it is a sign that no matter what sucker punch life just gave me, I can handle it. My dad mentioned to me that I always liked a challenge and always succeed every challenge. Breast cancer is just another challenge that I will defeat. In every appointment and test, good or bad, I always searched for a silver lining. These silver linings reminded me that there is no such thing as having a bad day. Even before this process, I strongly believe every crappy day always has at least one silver lining.

Based on the type of breast cancer I have, my treatment plan will take approximately 10 years. I honestly wish a surgery could take care of everything, but since cancer cells cannot always be caught through imaging test results, an aggressive treatment plan is on deck. I will start with chemotherapy, then a double mastectomy, and during surgery a determination will be made if I will continue chemotherapy or not. If not, there are other therapies like radiation. After the post-surgery treatment is complete, I will be on Tamoxifen for 10 years.

During treatment, it was highly emphasized that I cannot get pregnant. All these drugs can be toxic to a baby. It was at this point that it all hit me and it hit me hard. I was becoming more and more fond of the idea of changing the second bedroom into a nursery room. I even had a plan on how to decorate it. I couldn't take it. It was not fair at all that I could not have a baby. I really wanted to build our family.

After learning more about breast cancer than I thought I would ever know, I learned that with cancer, there is always a risk. The more discussions we had with different doctors, I decided to go ahead with the fertility perseveration process. I figured, I can't let cancer ruin my future plan. My life doesn't end because I have cancer. My doctors agree and believe quality of life after cancer is important. So I went to a fertility clinic specifically for cancer patients. The fertility doctors are well aware of my situation and carefully chose the drugs to stimulate the ovaries. For those who have had to go through the fertility process, I have so much respect for you! I hated every bit of it. Multiple shots a day and each one was painful. The silver lining was that I happened to be on the fast route and I was able to get my eggs harvested after a week and we were successfully able to freeze several embryos.

While I was going through this process, I also took a genetic test that tested 6 different genes. Breast cancer doesn't run in my family and it is rare for someone under 40 to get diagnosed with cancer. The most common genetic mutations are BRCA1 & BRCA2. Luckily, I was tested negative for those gene mutations. Unfortunately, they did find I do have a gene mutation and it is a mutation with PALB2. PALB2 is a newly discovered gene mutation that is known to show a high risk of breast cancer and pancreatic cancer. My genetic test showed that my gene mutation has an unknown significance to my condition. This means they can't confirm if my mutation is the cause of my cancer. So it seems like they will want to do more family research to confirm the significance (this is currently in the works).


So what does this mean going forward? Well I will continue to work and continue to blog. I understand that I will have my limitations and can't make it my priority. I am truly grateful that my employer has been so supportive throughout this process. Without their support, this process would have been much more difficult. Actually, the support I received from family and friends is overwhelming in the most positive way. Everyone in my life has done every possibly thing to help me get through this and honestly, without them, I would not have had the strength to handle everything. Their love, prayers, and support means so much to me! I am truly blessed. And of course Tre, he has been amazing throughout this journey. I know this is just the beginning of some of the challenges, but he is what keeps me going. He is definitely my HOTY (Husband Of The Year). He is my partner in crime.

I will do my very best to keep up with my blog. I'm sure there will be some slight physical changes or slow days, but I will do whatever it takes to kick cancer's ass! I also got an awesome wig that looks just like my hair! I wonder if you guys will notice!

If you have made it this far reading this, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read! Like I said, this is definitely the most difficult post I have ever written. Positivity goes a long way and I can't wait until the cancer's beaten! Hakuna Matata!

p.s. Another silver lining is I know all my scarf purchases can be put to good use. I guess that just means I should buy more scarves right?! ;)

Shirt: Skreened
Jeans: Gap
Book: The Silver Lining by Hollye Jacobs
Bag: Treesje (old), similar here

Shop the post:

xo RD
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99 comments:

  1. Rach,

    I am SO... honestly my dear, I feel there are few words but I hope I can say something to console you during this difficult time... I want to write with positivity and I really think the Hakuna Matata vibes as YOUR fight song is incredible.... Definitely fight and I am here rooting for you as you fight! Keep doing the things you love, keep blogging, and I'm betting that soon enough you will be able to satisfy that wanderlust, and beat cancer.

    Thank you for being so personal, and I know what you mean... sometimes fellow bloggers don't read a post thoroughly, so I'm hoping that changes and you find endless support!!

    Hakuna Matata, babe!



    Amber
    All the Cute
    Today's Post: Chic Neutrals...

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  2. I love that word and the movie :P when a person is going wrong, these words but do not remove the problems but help and we like to hear them :D kiss kiss pretty and good week WITH ENERGY
    New post: THE DCOK
    www.lupescolors.blogs.elle.es

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    1. It's true, that sometimes positive words help out and motivate!

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  3. Wow, what a brilliant post!!

    Happy Monday! Kisses,
    BLOG | Taislany

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  4. Oh Rach, I don't even know where to begin. I am just plaid sorry. Sorry that you have to got through this. You are truly amazing. Thank you for sharing your journey. I hope you will continue to share and let us know if there is anything we can do. I'm cheering you on. You are totally a fighter, and I am so proud of you!

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

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    1. Thank you so much Amy Ann for your support!! This means a lot!

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  6. Rach, this post really touched my heart. I'm sorry for your diagnosis but I know you are fighter. I will email you later because I have a a whole lot more to say that I don't necessarily want to share on here. I admire you, and your strength and honesty! Sending you a big hug and please watch out for my email.
    xoxo, Vanessa
    www.WhatWouldVWear.com

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    1. You are the sweetest Vanessa!! Thank you so much for your support! I look forward to hearing from you :)

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  8. Oh I am so sorry for your diagnosis. You are so strong to share this and I am rooting for you knowing that you are going to beat this! Positivity is key and you are an amazing positive light that is shining though. Thank you for sharing this and I will keep you in my thoughts.
    ~Lili
    www.thefashionsalt.com

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  9. I am so sorry, I am tearing up as I read your post. On your side and by your side. My mom had breast cancer so this hits close to home! I know you will pull through and yes there will be tough times but you are strong. Thank you for sharing your story and you are in my thoughts and sending positive energy your way.

    XO Chelsea http://www.shesaidhesaidfashion.com

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    1. I am terribly sorry for what you and your mom went through! I hope your mom is okay! I definitely will pull through! Thank you so much for the positive vibes!

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  10. Whilst I do not know you (yet), Rach, we do share one thing. A common anthem :) My Fight Song is my anthem too. Last August, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. Shortly thereafter, they found cancerous fibroids in my uterus and also a carcinoid in my GI Tract. It's been quite the ride and to be honest, I've no idea what's going to happen. I do know that I have to keep fighting. I want to be around for my daughter for as long as I can, she is my world. I want to be around for my husband and grow old with him. So this is my wish for myself, and for you, that each day we get to enjoy, we celebrate it as a blessing, we live it fully, and we try to stay as strong as we possibly can. Much love to you.

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    1. Thank you so much Sheela for sharing your story! You absolutely do no deserve what you are going through, but I believe in you and you will get through this! We will only come out of this stronger and tougher and nothing can get in the way!! You will be in my prayers <3

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear this news! I can't even image what you are going through, but I do know you are such a strong women. Even from the few times we've had the chance to meet up, grab coffee and take photos - you are such an amazing lady and it's extremely inspiring to hear your positive outlook. Especially praying for you and sending lots of love your way.

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    1. Thank you Katie for the sweet words! This means a lot and your prayers and positivity without a doubt will help me go through this!

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  12. Sending you lots of positive vibes!!! Stay strong girl :)
    xoxo,
    Peggy

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  13. wow! hang in there! love how you are so positive and hakuna matata is the perfect fight song! love it! You will be in my prayers :)

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  14. Rachel, I am SO SORRY to hear about this and please let me know if there is anything I can do to help! You will fight this.
    ~Samantha

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  15. Oh my goodness, Rach! I don't even know what to say. I am so so sorry that this has happened to you. I admire your positive attitude and fighting spirit. That is half the battle, for sure. I am praying for you and sending good vibes your way. Rooting for you every step of the way, girl! #TeamRach

    www.girlinahotcity.com

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    1. Thank you so much Ivete for your support!! <3

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  16. Rachel, I'm deeply sorry to learn about this, and thanks for opening up and sharing your story with us. You're a beautiful person inside and out and you're a very strong person. You can fight this, you can do this, and you have all the support you need to get through anything!

    Sending you much love and positive vibes this morning, xoxo

    -Lily from With Love Lily Rose

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    1. Thank you so much Lily for taking the read and for your positive spirit!!

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  17. Oh man, I hadn't realized you were going through something so big and traumatic in your life. I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but from what I know about you, you will certainly beat it and come out of it stronger than ever. Also, very smart of you guys to freeze your eggs and I think your new wig is pretty fab. I love wigs and wear them all the time, so I'm sure you'll feel comfortable in it.

    Thanks so much for sharing this super personal story with us, Rach. You're a true fighter!

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    1. Thank you so much Cheryl! And thanks for the sweet compliment about my wig! I'm sure in no time I will be super comfortable with it!

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  18. very very nice pictures ;)
    If you have time, check it out my new post:
    http://www.honeyandcotton.org/finally-i-come-back/?lang=en

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  19. Hakuna Matata Gorgeous Girl! Will keep you in my prayers!

    http://www.racheldinh.com

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  20. Wow! I'm stunned by the power of will of yours honey! Keep the makuna matata vibe on and everything will turn out well! xxx
    Check out what's new on the blog:
    mlleepaulette.com/index.php?r=site/blog

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  21. Sending all my love and prayers Rach! You are such an amazing and strong woman and I know you have the love and support of your hubby and family and friends. Please know I am always here if you need anything at all. XOXO

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    1. Thank you Heidi!! I really appreciate it!!

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  23. What an incredibly strong woman you are. Most of them women in my family have had breast cancer but never so young. It's heart-breaking that the medications rule out children like that... I honestly just want to give you a giant hug.

    But your shirt at least gives me hope -- sending love, support, and prayers your way for the struggles to come.

    Xoxo,

    Ashley || Sed Bona

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    1. Thank you so much Ashley!! This means so much!

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  24. I stumbled across your blog for the first time today and this was the first post that I read. I just wanted to let you know that your strength and positivity in the face of breast cancer is inspiring. I've seen people run fast and far from much less scary things. I'm new to your blog but I hope you continue to share your struggles and triumphs as you kick cancers ass!

    Sending love and prayers!
    XO,
    Jess
    www.TheStyleBandita.com

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    1. Thank you so much Jess! Thank you for stopping and taking the time read this! Can't wait to kick cancer's ass!

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  25. Thanks to sharing your story. I think a lot of us take things for granted, I know I do. I'm happy to see you smiling and you're right, cancer shouldn't ruin your future plans. Stay strong girl! You'll get through this :)

    Stacey | www.thebambieyes.com

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    1. I admit, I take some things for granted too. But as long as appreciate a lot of things in life, I think we all can get through anything! Thank you so much Stacey!

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  26. Rach,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time. I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Invasive Breast Cancer in 2013 just 11 months after undergoing 4 brain surgeries. I can tell you from experience that all your research is important and will help ease your mind. You are already a FIGHTER and your friends, family along with Tre will help you get through this.

    Kathy Colombo

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    1. Hi Mrs. Colombo, I am so sorry you had to go through all that. I know it wasn't easy, but seeing you great you are doing definitely reassures me that it will all work out!! Thank you, this means a lot!

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  27. I am so, so sorry to hear about your diagnosis! I love how strong and positive you are! Not everyone would really think long term and be proactive in keeping their future plans intact (as much as possible) and that just shows how strong and brilliant you are! Praying for you, now and forever... That this will not derail your hopes, dreams, and plans. You're so lucky to have a supportive husband and family. You'll get through this and it'll make your love for life even stronger! You've got this!!

    Xo — Trista | shopaholicandababy.com

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    1. Thank you Trista!! I am doing my best to stay positive! I am so fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful people! Thank you for your support and stopping by!

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  28. Rach,

    This post brought tears to my eyes! You are so incredibly brave and inspiring to share this. Your positivity, strength and the support you have will get you through this. Sending love and well wishes your way always!

    Amica

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    1. Hi Amica, Hope you are doing well!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and reaching out! The support and well wishes mean a lot!! Thank you!

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  29. Oh Rach, I mentioned on IG that I started to read your post at work and had to stop because it was bringing me to tears. I'm still at a loss for what to say. No one excepts to get sick, especially at such a young age. Your strong, feisty spirit and will to fight is huge, but so is the support system from your friends, family, coworkers...and all of your blogger friends. We'll all be around to instill the fight on any of those moments where you get discouraged.

    If I might ask, how did you discover something was wrong?

    Sending you love and support, the whole way <3

    Jackie
    Something About That

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    1. Hi Jackie, I am so sorry it brought you tears!! No way was I trying to make anyone sad. It was definitely unexpected but my husband and I always say to hope for the best and plan for the worst. So this is how we will approach it and helps! Thanks so much for your support and love!!

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  30. Wow Rach, I'm so sorry :( I had no idea you were going through all this! I'm inspired by how strong you're being throughout all this! I've had family members struggle with cancer and I know how hard the road to recovery is, but I'm confident you, out of anyone, can beat this and be a much stronger person after this! You and your hubby are in my prayers!

    xo, Mary Kate
    www.mynewchicagolife.com

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    1. I am so sorry you had to go through this with a family member. It is definitely not easy, but seeing how well you are doing, I know me, my family, and friends will be okay too. The road is always bumpy but that's what makes everything so great. The results mean so much more! Thank you so much for your prayers!!

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  31. My favorite part about this post was that it's entirely positive; the way you wrote about the situation, your photos and your smile..you're going to power through this and you'll be alright, I can feel your strength! Sending love your way.

    xo, alice / T Y P E N U

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    1. Thank you so much Alice! I didn't realize how it was entire positive haha!! Thanks for all the love!!

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  32. Rach,

    I am so sorry to hear this but I love the outlook that you have.
    I know you will get through this and you have such a great attitude about everything.
    sending you good thoughts girl :)


    -Andréa

    A.Viza Style

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    1. Thank you so much Andrea for the positive thoughts! I know I will get through this :)

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  33. So sorry to hear about your diagnosis! Love your post!
    Hugs,
    Love from www.trangscorner.com {a lifestyle, fashion, beauty, and food blog}

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  35. I'm so sorry to hear this!! You feel like a strong woman and with your attitude I'm sure that you will get through this ♥ I'm happy to read that your family, friends and husband will be there to support you. Stay strong and positive!
    xx Elle

    www.cherryblossomstreet.com

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    1. Thank you Elle!! Everyone around me has been incredible!! Thank you again!

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  36. I just found your blog but...my thoughts are with you. I have had cancer in my family and know how trying this can be. It's wonderful to hear that you're trying to stay positive through it all and see the silver lining! It's the way to go :)
    Christina | https://caliope-couture.com

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    1. I am so sorry that you had to go through this with your family! I definitely think positivity goes a long way! Thank you Christina!

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  37. Hey! Get well soon, I'm honestly sorry to hear this! But I hope that you can pull through all of this (: you're one strong woman and stay positive. We are all here for you x

    http://birdiethgirl.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much!! Thanks for the positivity! It definitely gives me strength!

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  38. Love this!
    http://www.yukovablog.co.uk/

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  39. Great bag!

    http://beautyfollower.blogspot.gr/

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  40. everything is so cute i love the photos!

    http://highheelpoodl.blogspot.rs

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  41. I'm so sorry to hear about your news. My mother went through breast cancer as well. She was tripple negative. Very aggressive. She's was fighter, and still is. She too had a double mastectomy. She is a warrior just as you are and will be! I will pray for you everyday Rachel!

    www.lesleyandeve.com

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    1. I am so sorry hear about your mom but she is an inspiration and an incredible woman! Thank you so much Les!

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  42. I literally have no words. When you commented about feeling as if a song was meant for you, I was interested to get over here and read what song had touched your heart. I never expected it to be for this reason.... My heart hurts for you Rach. Yet you're still smiling and still so beautiful. I've always loved your effortlessness, your beauty, your hair. I mean, I'm pretty sure I drop a comment about your hair at least once a week. (; Now, above all those things I love your courage, your bravery. There's not a ton I can say to make the situation better, just know that I am thinking about you. I am praying for you. My family is praying for you, and I've never met someone this incredibly brave. <3

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    1. Aww thank you Kiki for the prayers and positivity! They mean a lot and it will help me through this!! Thank you!

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  43. Rach I can't even begin to imagine. You are so amazing and brave for posting this. Your attitude and words in this post are so inspiring. I will be praying for your fast recovery. You are such a strong and beautiful woman.

    Danielle
    http://www.blushblossom.com

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    1. Thank you so much Danielle! I really appreciate it! :)

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  44. Hey there, girlfriend- you are so brave + strong. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis- I cannot imagine how earth-shattering that news would be. But you are a warrior and will survive this! You have an amazing medical team at your side and your friends, fam, and husband are all in your corner. I'm thinking about you + sending ALL the good vibes!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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    1. Thank you so much Ashley! Thanks for the good vibes! They will definitely help me through this!

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  45. So strong and brave of you to share this!! You sound so positive, and as they say that is half the battle. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

    xx, Elise
    www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much Elise!! I really appreciate it!

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  46. I know we don't really know each other, but I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Your post had me in tears and it's so unfair that someone has to deal with this at such a young age. You are clearly strong, so brave and have an extremely positive outlook so I have no doubt you will kick ass during this time. I'll be thinking of you!

    Shannon

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    1. Thank you Shannon! Thanks for the positivity and I can't wait to kick cancer's ass!

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  47. I'm was surprised to hear about this and I'm sorry that you are going through this. Thank you for sharing! I have a family history of breast cancer and I've always put off the self checks, etc, but this is a reminder to be vigilant. You are so brave and strong and it sounds like you have an amazing team supporting you. I love your positive outlook! I'm thinking of you!

    Nicole
    Nicole to the Nines

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    1. Glad I was able to help you out too! Please do continue to do self-exams! Thank you for the positive thoughts!

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  48. Oh!
    I just came to your site for the first time today and was looking through the older posts first... Love how you write... I thought i would comment on your latest post...

    Sorry to hear about this. I hope you keep blogging and keep instagramming. Be brave and Hakuna Matata it away... I lost my grandmother to breast cancer, and she had a spirit of a butterfly throughout the treatment. May her spirit be in you. Bless you.

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    1. So sorry your first post was this, but thank you for stopping by and taking the read this. I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. She sounds like a strong fighter!! Thank you!

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  49. Rach,

    I just happened to stumble across your blog, and because "Fight Song" has a special place in my heart as well I continued reading your post. By the end I was in tears. I don't know you and I've never met you but I can honestly say that you are a beautiful person inside and out. I can't even begin to imagine how hard all of this must be and you are handling it with such poise and grace. It sounds like you have a great support team and I have total faith that you will kick cancers ass! Sending tons of love and positivity your way!

    XO

    Kylie

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    1. 'Fight Song' is such a powerful song and incredible one! Thank you for the sweet and kind words, they mean a lot :) Thanks for the positive vibes!

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  50. Rach I think you are so brave and truly incredible to share this with us it shows the kind of strong and inspirational women that you. I am so sorry that you are going through such a horrible thing but I believe you will kick this awful disease! You have such a strong supportive team around you, stay strong, sending you positive energy and I will keep you in my thoughts!

    xx Auna | http://simplyauna.com

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    1. Hi Auna, thank you for believing in me and the positive vibes! Without a doubt, this will help through this battle! Thank you!

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  51. I've been following you and your blog for a while now, but never really commented here before. I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and everything you've had to go through so far. You are so incredibly strong and brave to share your story like this and I hope you know you have the support of so many behind you. The fight against breast cancer is a cause that's very near to my heart, because my mother passed away from it last year. I know the journey ahead is going to be difficult, but I have faith that you'll kick cancer's ass and show them who's boss. Sending all my thoughts, prayers and positive energy your way. Stay strong, Rach!

    Angelica
    http://thecitylush.com

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    1. Hi Angelica, thank you for being a long time follower! Readers like you is what motivates me each day and to have the courage to write this post. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. This is unfair but I can tell she was a strong fighter! Thanks for the positivity and support! I really appreciate it!

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  52. I am so sorry beautiful <3 stay strong!

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  53. I just got a chance to read this post and catch up on IG. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Your post is so honest and heartfelt. I will keep you in my prayers. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and she's a fighter! With so much research and knowledge on breast cancer, I know you're in the best care and you will make it out stronger! I just know it.

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  54. I just read this post, and I wanted to reach out and give you my best wishes through this whole process. Your post is so honest, stay strong!

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