Many of you started to get a hint that something is going on. Although I do share some personal stuff in this blog, I don't share every detail. A glimpse of my every day life is usually shown through my Instagram. Based on some of my posts, some of you have noticed I am going through something and some may already know what is going on. For those who have reached out, thank you so much for your support and wishing me well! They really mean a lot and the positive vibes give me strength each day.
Let's just say the start of the year took an unexpected turn. This year, Tre and I had plans to celebrate our newlywed year by traveling and exploring and I was very glad that my passion for traveling would happen. We had booked a couple trips already! Unfortunately, we had to cancel them. This has been one of my hardest posts that I will ever write. I am unsure how long this will be, but I want to be as honest as possible.
When I saw this clip from The Ellen Show, I was pouring tears. The song 'Fight Song' by Rachel Platten had a whole different meaning than what I originally thought it was about. Now, I totally relate and this song holds so much more motivation to my life. If you just watched the clip, you may know where I am going with this.
Ever since I was diagnosed, my days have consisted of several tests and doctor appointments. It was exhausting. However, on the way to the hospital the first song on the radio would always be (I seriously mean always) Rachel Platten's Fight Song. I can't help but think it is a sign that no matter what sucker punch life just gave me, I can handle it. My dad mentioned to me that I always liked a challenge and always succeed every challenge. Breast cancer is just another challenge that I will defeat. In every appointment and test, good or bad, I always searched for a silver lining. These silver linings reminded me that there is no such thing as having a bad day. Even before this process, I strongly believe every crappy day always has at least one silver lining.
After learning more about breast cancer than I thought I would ever know, I learned that with cancer, there is always a risk. The more discussions we had with different doctors, I decided to go ahead with the fertility perseveration process. I figured, I can't let cancer ruin my future plan. My life doesn't end because I have cancer. My doctors agree and believe quality of life after cancer is important. So I went to a fertility clinic specifically for cancer patients. The fertility doctors are well aware of my situation and carefully chose the drugs to stimulate the ovaries. For those who have had to go through the fertility process, I have so much respect for you! I hated every bit of it. Multiple shots a day and each one was painful. The silver lining was that I happened to be on the fast route and I was able to get my eggs harvested after a week and we were successfully able to freeze several embryos.
While I was going through this process, I also took a genetic test that tested 6 different genes. Breast cancer doesn't run in my family and it is rare for someone under 40 to get diagnosed with cancer. The most common genetic mutations are BRCA1 & BRCA2. Luckily, I was tested negative for those gene mutations. Unfortunately, they did find I do have a gene mutation and it is a mutation with PALB2. PALB2 is a newly discovered gene mutation that is known to show a high risk of breast cancer and pancreatic cancer. My genetic test showed that my gene mutation has an unknown significance to my condition. This means they can't confirm if my mutation is the cause of my cancer. So it seems like they will want to do more family research to confirm the significance (this is currently in the works).
If you have made it this far reading this, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read! Like I said, this is definitely the most difficult post I have ever written. Positivity goes a long way and I can't wait until the cancer's beaten! Hakuna Matata!
p.s. Another silver lining is I know all my scarf purchases can be put to good use. I guess that just means I should buy more scarves right?! ;)
Book: The Silver Lining by Hollye Jacobs
Bag: Treesje (old), similar here
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