We Are Having A Baby!!!

A big thank you to my friend Katie (the photographer behind Lincoln Lane Co.) for capturing these photos! We are so grateful and love them!

WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!! I can’t believe I’m actually saying and sharing this! I’ve been wanting to share this news for sooo long. Today, I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant. It feels so good to finally share this news with you. In these photos, I was 18 weeks pregnant. Let’s just say my bump has definitely grown much more since then haha.

But last week was a nightmare. I had to get a biopsy because I mysteriously started getting rashes. Based on the rash’s appearance, my doctors didn’t think it looked like the type of rashes you’d get during pregnancy. I was unfortunately told that there would be a high chance of miscarriage if my biopsy results were positive. Hence, why I was barely on social media. I was an emotional wreck after hearing that news especially after a successful ultrasound. The baby was healthy and active, and the thought of losing it was devastating. I’ve wanted this baby for so long. Thank goodness I just got my biopsy results and it didn’t show strong evidence of this skin condition (I personally don’t know how to spell the condition. Hence why I’m not mentioning it.) So for now, I’m being monitored very closely.

We Are Having A Baby

Our little Sweet Pea is our good luck charm and already the center of our world. March 2021 can’t come soon enough! I never thought I’d be able to have a baby after cancer. As I’m typing this, I’m in tears because nothing in my life ever comes easy. I always had to come across some life challenge or hurdle with the exception of last week’s news. Everything I wanted, I had to fight for and sometimes it feels like a losing battle. So how we got this little baby feels like a miracle. Our Sweet Pea came as soon as it could in terms of the cancer world. I’ll share the process of conceiving and having a baby after cancer in another post. It’s for sure a lengthy one!

Always Knew We Wanted Kids

As I’m typing this, it reminded me of the moment I realized I had cancer (the full story is here). At that time, it had been a couple of months since I was diagnosed with cancer. But it didn’t hit me until the doctor told me that there’s a chance I can’t have a baby after cancer treatments. The cancer treatments will be very aggressive that it can affect my reproductive system. That CRUSHED ME. I always knew I wanted to have kids. It hurts to know that something I really wanted could easily be taken away without the opportunity to even try. Tre and I talked about having kids together way before we got married.

Working With Our Oncology Team

My medical team has been AMAZING. Since they knew from the beginning that I wanted kids, they’ve been working with us on that.

• First, they had me go through the fertility preservation process before treatment started. So when the time is right, I have options.
• Second, I’ve been seeing an OB/GYN for cancer patients right when I was diagnosed. She has been monitoring me through my cancer treatments.
• Third, my medical team truly believes that thinking about a cancer patient’s long-term life is very important.

Most doctors want to treat immediately without thinking about the ramifications down the road. So every decision they have made, they considered my future.

They said that based on recent studies most cancer patients have a better survival rate when they continue to live their life and pursue their life goals.

Quality of life is important to healthy living. So if you ever have to go through any serious health conditions / chronic illness, don’t be afraid to be an advocate for yourself. Ask questions. It makes a big difference.

Requires to Stop Cancer Treatment

The decision to have a baby after breast cancer was hard. It would require me to stop cancer treatment. The cancer treatments are the reasons why I’m alive. So the thought of stopping what is saving my life scared Tre and I. I knew I could run the risk of my cancer spreading. As you all might know, when breast cancer metastasizes, it is a terminal cancer. But I also knew in my heart that I wouldn’t feel complete and fulfilled if we never tried to have kids.

There is a process even before you can try to conceive a baby after the cancer.

• First, they stop the treatments.
• Second, you need months to have your body detox the toxins from treatments.
• Third, your reproductive system needs to be working in order to conceive and carry a baby.

We actually started this process in January 2020. But the decision came earlier.

The Decision To Have A Baby

June 2019, Tre and I went to Copenhagen. I remember walking into one of the home decor boutiques. Let me tell you, Danish home decor is amazing. I wanted everything! We stumbled upon the baby and kids section. Omg I was gushing over everything. Everything was so cute that I wanted to buy it all! I remember seeing an adorable hot air balloon wicker basket dangling from the ceiling, and I had the urge to buy it. At that moment, I really wished I had a baby to come home to.

Tre and I checked with each other every month on where we were mentally about having kids. We always asked each other ‘Can we handle it if things don’t go well?”, “Do we have the strength to hear bad news?”.  Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, we always knew we need to check our mental health before making a decision. There’s still that fear of cancer spreading. I remember recently hearing the news about a childhood  friend not doing well from metastatic breast cancer. Sadly, I recently found out she passed away last week. It felt too close to home. And it makes me sad when Tre mentions “I’m afraid of being a single parent.” So I knew mentally we were not there to handle the good or the bad.

The Moment We Were Ready To Have A Baby

Then we went to Italy in October 2019. It was a magical trip for us. On the plane ride home, I knew I wanted a baby. I told Tre and he told me he wants to too. We both talked about it – what might happen and how the process may take years. I’m 32 years old, and I knew I wanted to try to conceive naturally before resorting to IVF or surrogacy to use our frozen embryos. So if that’s the route I wanted to take, I knew time was not in our favor and we should get started as soon as I can.

We’re Pregnant!

Unfortunately, we couldn’t start the process right away. Right before we left for Italy, I went in for my treatments. Which means the soonest we could start the process was in January.

So in January 2020, I told my oncologist I want to try to have a baby and so the process began. Didn’t immediately stop treatments. But long story short, six months later I found out my reproductive system was finally working. Soon after I knew I was pregnant early on. I was probably only 2 weeks pregnant. But the thing that I learned from cancer is to really listen and be in-tune with your body, especially since I stopped treatment. So when I knew something was different, my gut told me I was pregnant.

I also had to guess when I would be late for my period. I haven’t had my period in over 4 years due to cancer treatments! June 2020 was my first time. When I took my first pregnancy test, I was maybe 2 weeks late (assuming I followed a 28 day cycle).

I kept getting negative and error pregnancy tests. This happened for about two weeks. Then I finally had a positive test! Every single day and multiple times a day, I would take a pregnancy test just to be sure it truly was positive haha. And there ya go, we are now starting a whole new exciting journey! 20 more weeks until we meet our Sweet Pea!

Again, a big thank you to my friend Katie (Lincoln Lane Co.) for being our photographer and capturing this memorable moment.

xo RD